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I wake up before my alarm goes off. The events of last night come rushing back. My mind first goes to Graham’s warm kisses and touches, his arms around me. He was so kind and understanding when I told him about Ryan and my fear of disappointing my parents. I then made a mess of everything by asking about Jeremy. My worse fear had come to light. Graham was still in love with his ex-boyfriend.
There are so many questions running through my head. Why did Graham want to be my boyfriend if he still loved Jeremy? Why did he kiss me and touch me? Why did he get my hopes up that we would be more than friends? I didn’t have time to think about all of this right now. I have class, homework and a big project in my music class to worry about.
I get ready quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. I don’t care how I look today. I usually take my time getting ready. This morning my main priority is to get out of the room before Graham wakes. I’m not ready to have the conversation that I know is inevitable. As I leave the room, I glance quickly at a sleeping Graham. He is lying on his stomach. His sheet and bedspread are bunched at the end of the bed leaving his body uncovered. He’s only wearing a pair of blue boxer briefs that have shifted down exposing the upper half of his golden hairless butt.
I want to go over and give him a trail of kisses over his beautiful naked butt. I don’t. Instead, I open the door and leave the room. As I quietly shut the door, the door across the hall opens and Carson, our neighbor emerges.
Carson is a nice guy. Graham and I have hung out with him and his roommate, Ben, a few times. He’s my height, but a little bigger. He was a wrestler in high school, but wasn’t good enough to receive a scholarship. He’s hoping to win a walk on position on the college wrestling team when the season starts. I can tell he’s headed to the gym because he’s wearing a pair of nylon shorts, t-shirt and running shoes. He’s not really my type, but I can’t help checking him out as he locks his door.
He turns and sees me standing there. He gives me a big smile, his blue eyes twinkling.
“Hey, Griffin, you headed to class this early?”
I smile back at him a little embarrassed that he caught me checking him out. He doesn’t seem to mind.
“Yeah. I don’t know why I signed up for a 8am class.”
“I hear ya. Mornings are the only time I can get to the gym. You wanna walk with me?”
I nod and we head to the elevator.
“How are things? Do you like your classes?”
I shrug. “They’re okay. I’m just ready to get done with all my requirements so I can focus on my major.”
“What’s your major?”
“English Education. How about you?”
“Oh, cool, a teacher. I’m thinking sports medicine. I wanna be a trainer for a professional sports team. It’s not realistic, but I can’t think of anything else I wanna do.”
“That sounds awesome, ” I say. “You can get your friends free tickets to whichever team you work for.”
“Totally,” he says.
We step into the elevator. He pushes the 1st floor button.
On the way down we don’t say anything to each other. When the elevator stops at our floor, we step off.
“Hey, dude, I have to go this way.” He points to the left. “Which way are you going?”
I point in the opposite direction.
“Kay, I guess I’ll see you around,” he says.
“Sure. See you.” I head off to class.
Suddenly, a hand is on my shoulder. I turn around. Carson is in front of me. He looks a little nervous.
“Um…I’m going to check out the movie that’s playing in the student union tonight. Do you wanna come with me?”
I hesitate for a minute. Is casino oyna he asking me out on a date? Probably not. He’s a jock. He’s just being friendly.
I smile at him and say, “Sure. Sounds fun.”
“Righteous, ” he says. “The movie starts at 7. I’ll come by at 6:30. Is that okay?”
“Sounds great. See you then.”
He turns and walks away.
I can’t help but watch him as he strides out the door.
I wake up in the morning and Griffin is gone. I’m not surprised. I know that he has an early class on Thursdays. In the back of my mind, I was hoping he would blow if off so that we could have a talk about what happened last night.
I can’t believe I was such an idiot. I want to rewind time and do everything right. I want to tell him that, yes, I love Jeremy, as a friend, but I’m not in love with Jeremy. Yes, I was sad we broke up, but I’m not anymore.
I get out bed and head to the shower. As I’m entering my room, back from the shower, I see Carson walking towards me. He’s a cool guy.
I decide to stop and be friendly. Besides Griffin, I haven’t made too many friends and Carson seems like a good prospect.
“Hey, Carson. What’s going on?”
He stops in front of his door. “Not much, dude. Just coming back from the gym.”
“Good for you, man. I wish I had time to hit up the gym.” I’m putting on my best macho guy persona. I don’t know why, but I feel like Carson will be more open to me if I engage in some “jock talk” with him.
“Hell ya. You should join me sometime.”
“Cool.” I turn and I’m about to fit my key into the lock.
“I saw Griffin this morning. He looked pretty torn up.”
“Yeah, looked like his dog died.”
“I don’t think his dog died. We are not allowed to have pets in the dorm.”
“Well, anyway, he looked really down. He’s a cute kid. I invited him to the student union tonight for movie night.”
I can’t breathe.
“Really? Is he going with you?”
“Hell ya. He’s really excited about it.”
Griffin is going to the movies with Carson? Is this the kind of guy Griffin is attracted to? I tell Carson that Griffin is my guy, but I can’t. Griffin hates me.
“I hope you guys have a really good time,” I lie.
“Thanks, dude. Hit me up if you ever want a good work out.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll let you know.”
I enter my room and slam the door shut.
My first reaction is to run to my bed, curl up and cry myself to sleep. Instead, I get dressed and sit down at my desk. I need to do something. I need to do something that shows Griffin how much I really care about him.
I’m exhausted. It’s 5:30pm and I’ve spent all day in class and in the library working on my homework and my music project. What I really want to do is take a shower and go to bed, but I promised Carson that I would go to the movies with him.
I enter my room and I’m alone. Graham is usually here when I get home. I’m both relieved and disappointed at the same time. Where is he? Is he avoiding me? I’m conflicted about my feelings.
I walk over to my bed. I’m ready to lie down and get a couple of minutes rest before Carson shows up. On my pillow is a DVD with a sticky note attached. It says, “Watch me.”
I pick up the DVD and wander over to my laptop. I sit down and insert the DVD into my laptop. I wait patiently for it to upload. Graham’s face appears.
Graham looks really nervous. I can’t help but smile.
“I was really sad this morning when I woke up and you weren’t here. I know that you have an early class, but still…” He looks down for an instant and canlı casino frowns. His curly hair is only thing in the frame. I want to run my hands through his hair.
He suddenly looks up and continues. His face is so serious.
“I want to clear a few things up. I didn’t have a chance last night. I know I mad you sad. I’m sorry. I love Jeremy, but I’m not in love with him. I love Jeremy because he was my first boyfriend. I don’t want to go into details. I want to tell you in person what happened between me and Jeremy.”
Graham hesitates. He looks like he’s going to breakdown. His eyes are wide and it looks like he’s having a hard time making eye contact with the camera. Tears well up in my eyes. I’m so stupid. Why couldn’t I have I listened to him last night? He wanted to explain, but I wouldn’t let him.
“I was sad when Jeremy broke up with me. I knew his logic. He was going to college in Arizona and I was going to California. I was heartbroken. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t have a long distant relationship. I tried to reason with him and he refused. I wanted to die.”
I pause the DVD. Did I want him to continue? A part of me wants to eject the DVD and break it into a thousand pieces. No, I need to go on. I wipe away the tears from my eyes and press play.
Graham says, “The minute I saw you I knew that Jeremy had made the right decision. I want you. More than I ever I wanted Jeremy. You are beautiful, kind and so sexy. Jeremy is nothing compared to you.”
I pause the DVD. At this point, tears are streaming uncontrollably down my face. I can’t believe it. Graham wants me and I want him.
Suddenly, there is a loud knock on the door. I jump up and run towards the door. Is it Graham? Did he forget his key?
I swing the door open. Carson is standing there with a big grin on his face.
“Hey, dude,” says Carson. “Are you ready?”
I want to collapse, but instead I say, “Of course, let’s go.”
I’m lying in bed. The covers are pulled over my head. It’s almost midnight and I can’t fall asleep. Griffin’s bed is empty.
Where is he? The movie ended at least two hour ago and he still isn’t home. Is he staying the night with Carson? I can’t let my brain go there.
I came home later than I usually do and Griffin was gone. The DVD was not on his pillow where I left it. Did he watch the DVD? I wanted to go over and see if it was in his computer, but I didn’t. It felt like an invasion of his privacy.
As I’m contemplating where Griffin could be, I hear a key in the door, someone enters the room and the door shuts. I look out from underneath the covers and there is Graham standing at the foot of my bed. It ‘s dark, but I can feel his eyes watching me. I decide to break the ice.
“Did you have fun?”
He giggles and stumbles across the room until he’s kneeling on the ground in front of my bed. His face is a few inches from mine. I can smell whiskey on his breath.
“Oh, yeah,” he slurs. “I had a blast.”
Griffin is drunk.
“How much did you have to drink, Griffin?” I ask him.
“I don’t remember. A lot. I feel awesome.” He lays his head down next to mine.
I laugh out loud. Griffin isn’t talking like his normal self.
He sighs. “Why are you laughing at me? You are always laughing at me. Stop it.”
I laugh again. I can’t help it. He’s a cute drunk.
“I’m sorry, Griffin. It’s just funny seeing you like this.”
“I never had whiskey before. It’s strong.”
I run my right hand through his hair.
“That feels really good,” he says sleepily.
I want to pull him into my bed and snuggle his body to mine, but I know that kaçak casino I need to help him before he passes out. If I don’t, he’ll wake up with a terrible hangover.
“Griffin, honey, you need to get up, take a shower and drink some water. If you don’t, you are going to feel like shit in the morning.”
He groans, lifts his head and looks at me. My hand is now cupping his face.
“Will you help me, Graham? I don’t think I can make it to the shower alone.”
“Of course, sweetie, but you are going to have to stand up so I can get out of bed.”
He stumbles to his feet and I slip out of bed. I am wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. I wrap my right arm around his waist. He leans into me and tucks his head into the curve of my neck.
“You ready to walk, Griffin?”
“Yes,” he whispers into me neck. “Thank you, Graham. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“No worries,” I whisper into his hair. “I’m glad I’m here to help.”
I maneuver him through the door, down the hall and into the bathroom. I guide him into the handicap shower. It’s private. I don’t want anyone from the dorm to see him in this drunken state. A sudden need to protect him sweeps over me.
I unwrap him from me, gently lower him onto the bench and close the door behind us. I kneel before him. He slumps back into the wall. His eyes are closed and his mouth is open.
“Griffin, ” I say firmly, “don’t fall asleep. You need to take your clothes off.”
His eyes open slowly and he grins at me.
“You trying to get me naked, Graham? You are a naughty boy.”
Oh, wow! Alcohol definitely lowers his inhibitions. I like this Griffin. I grin back.
His eyes close again. Oh, fuck! I rub my hand up and down his chest trying to wake him.
“Griffin. Wake up.”
His eyes pop open and he asks me, “Will you undress me?”
I instantly hard.
“Of course, honey. Put your hands up over your head.”
He lifts his hands over his head. I pull off his sweatshirt and then his t-shirt.
I can’t help but stare. His chest and abs are firm with just a little bit of blonde hair trailing from above his belly button to the waistband of his low-rise jeans. I take a couple of deep breaths. It takes every fiber of my being to keep from running my tongue up and down his perfect body.
“Do you think you can stand up and take off your pants?”
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he stands, unbuttons his jeans, pulls the zipper down and wiggles his pants down to his ankles. He leans against me placing both of his hands on my shoulders. I carefully help pull his pants off, his left leg first and then the other. He’s now wearing nothing but the plaid boxer shorts he was wearing yesterday. For an instant, his penis presses against my cheek. It’s warm and semi-hard. Oh, the things that I could do to him right now. I resist the temptation. I slowly stand up moving my hands gently up his thighs and across his butt until they are securely around his waist. I kick his clothes into the corner. I don’t want them to get wet.
“Can you stand by yourself for a second while I turn on the shower?”
He nods and I slowly release my hands from around his waist. He sways back and forth for an instant, but he quickly gets his footing.
I walk over to the shower and turn on the water. As I am adjusting the water temperature, I suddenly feel a body pressing into me. It’s Graham. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulls me into him and at the same time pushes me forward into the shower wall. He begins to grind his now hard penis into my backside. Water is pouring over us both. Oh, God, it feels so good.
After about thirty seconds of him humping me, I quickly come to my senses. He’s drunk. I need to stop him.
“Griffin”, I protest. “Please stop. You’re drunk. You are going to regret this in the morning. If you even remember this in the morning.”
He stops, but doesn’t let me go.
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