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Nervously, I watched the scenery pass as the town car carried me down the tree lined streets of my neighborhood. My hazel eyes squinted as the bright sun flickered into their depths, angled to blindingly streak straight through my retinas, yet constantly obstructed by the wind blown leaves of the elm and ash trees I know oh so well.
Normally, I would find the sight soothing. A touch of excitement to be going home.
I should be excited.
It had been my eighteenth birthday on Monday. Yesterday was my last day of high school. I should have been on top of the world.
Yet, something was wrong.
The truth was, I had been excited… until I stepped out of the boarding school doors to find that my father had sent a driving service to fetch me for the two hour ride home.
He had never missed a chance to pick me up from school for any holidays or breaks. I knew he was a busy man. It was why he paid for me to attend the expensive boarding school. He was a successful man who traveled a lot for work. He worried about me being home alone, left to my depression after mom died five years ago. So, he wanted me to spend my time with friends and others to make sure I didn’t hide away. Yet, despite the distance, he never let me think I was forgotten. He called every week. He made sure to be there when I was home on holidays, even taking time off to just go out and spend time together.
Why after all those years, did he miss out on picking me up on the most important weekend of all?
I had wanted to tell him all about my graduation plans, and we had scheduled dates to go see a few universities as I had decided to take a semester off before I started college. He wasn’t happy about my choice, however, supported me as long as I was serious about looking at options and enrolling for the spring. In the meantime, I was looking forward to hearing what his summer plans were. My dad had been my only family, my rock for so long. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t really my father. My biological father disappeared when mom was still pregnant with me. Yet, when she met him, he not only loved her, he loved me enough to adopt me and raise me as his own. I had never known anyone else as my dad.
Still, I had been relegated to a driving service.
To make matters worse, my unease grew exponentially as my body reminded me of the party I had attended the night before. I was still sore and surprisingly, despite how much I cleaned, I was still leaking bodily fluids. Could this strange, silent driver hurry up?
I was desperate to not be seated in the bumping vehicle, and preferably have access to a restroom. Damn it.
I was ready to jump out and kiss the ground when the town car finally stopped in front of my house. I quickly pulled the handle and patted my clothing down, making sure I didn’t have any wet spots, before I ran for the front door.
What in the hell?
“I was told to leave your luggage on the steps and call when you arrived. Have a nice day miss.” The driver tilted his hat and set down two of my suitcases before he returned to the car to grab the others.
I pressed my finger to the doorbell.
Then, once the driver placed a call and pulled away, I began hitting the bell repeatedly until I finally heard the door open.
“Daddy! What happened? Why didn’t you pick me up? What’s wrong?” I rambled quickly as I flung my arms around my father.
Still, something was very wrong.
He didn’t hug me back. There was no addictive smile across his lips. His eyes didn’t sparkle with playful mischief. He wasn’t the father I remembered.
“Why don’t you go sit in the living room while I bring in your suitcases? Then you can tell me if there’s anything wrong.”
Slowly, I turned and headed toward the room he directed me to. I could hear the sound of the television, but as I made my way closer, the voice I heard made my heart race.
“Come on Abby. It’s your birthday weekend. You’re officially an adult.” I could hear my best friend’s voice say. Oh dear god, I remember this video. “You have to admit that I gave you one hell of a birthday present. Not too many girls get a gang bang with a frat house and their girlfriends before they graduate high school.”
I froze at the entrance to the room and trembled as I watched the messy, overused slut, grin back. It was me. Naked, sweaty, covered in cum. My eyes were hooded and my lips swollen. Hard to process that was how I looked only hours ago. Our last celebration before graduation. “Thank you Mommy.” I mumbled to my friend, my dominant partner. I honestly don’t know why I started calling her Mommy. But I found it comforting. And she enjoyed the dominant title. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so right.
Silently I begged that was all Alex had shared, just that clip. It was bad enough.
However, deep down I knew. She had filmed the whole damn gang bang and the intoxicated interview afterwards. So high and exhausted from all of the sex, bostancı escort I had answered her honestly.
Had he already watched it all?
“It’s my second time watching this from beginning to end.” My father’s voice rumbled behind me, answering my unspoken fears.
“I have one more surprise for you Abby. But you’ll have to wait until you get home for that one.” Alex taunted.
“Not at home, please Mommy. Daddy will be home and I don’t want to have any distractions.” My voice was almost incoherent.
I was shaking. “Stop. Please Daddy, stop the video.”
He pulled me back when I took a step, terrified to look at him. I could barely think past the scorching warmth of his hands gripping my hips. “But this is the most important part.” His voice was emotionless.
Alex chuckled as she played with a lock of my golden brown hair. I had thought she was changing the subject. “I can’t help but remember your Daddy, and thank him for what we shared these last few months. If we hadn’t found his kinky collection of toys and videos last summer, I don’t know if either of us would have explored this dom/sub thing so in depth.”
My face burned bright red, feeling my father behind me as the words were spoken. Nothing touched but his grip on my hips. It didn’t stop the power of his presence from pressing into me like a physical force all of its own. It made me want to melt. Still I feared what would come next. I had barely heard Alex speak as I fell asleep, my mumbled answers were a true horror to relive. “Don’t worry pet, I know how much you need to be taken care of when I’m not there. You need a strong dom who can teach you more than I know.”
“I want my Daddy. He’s always loved me. So strong. Sexy muscles. Lips I’ve wanted to kiss for years.”
“How do you want your Daddy, pet?”
“Like you. Like he was with those women on his videos. Tied up and submissive to his control. I just want to be his little girl in every way.”
Alex leaned down to kiss me as I passed out. “I know pet. I hope he can love you like I do.”
Tears rolled down my face. The love I felt for Alex in that moment. The love I had always felt for my father and had never had the courage to admit on my own. I never would have said it if I wasn’t riding the high of adrenaline from the prior activities. Yet, somehow, Alex always knew. And she gave my father the video to try to give me my dreams.
I could barely breathe.
What if he was disgusted by it? Was he furious about the gang-bang? Is that why he didn’t pick me up or hug me back? Because he doesn’t want me around anymore?
“Who is this Daddy you want so badly?” The deep voice rumbled next to my ear.
It was so wrong. I knew it.
I never planned to tell him. I knew it would change everything between us and I wasn’t ready to lose him too.
“Tell me.” He ordered.
Barely able to squeak out a sound, I finally pushed the one syllable answer through my lips. “You.”
I felt his breath shudder as he exhaled over my neck.
Disgust. I squeezed my eyes shut. Feeling my heart shatter as the seconds ticked by.
“Are you sure it’s what you want? Do you even know what you’re asking for?”
I had no other choice but to answer. I was so damn submissive and he was so deliciously intimidating. Even as my heart broke. “Yes, Daddy.”
He sucked in a breath at that.
“So, you went into my room when I wasn’t home?”
“Yes Daddy. I’m sorry.” My voice was broken.
“You saw the videos I made of the women I brought here when you were at school?”
“What did you feel when you saw them?”
I chewed on my lip. Honesty. There was no point in hiding anything anymore. “Jealous and horny. I wanted to be tied up and scream like that.”
His breathing had become more ragged as he pressed closer to me, still behind me, and I remained with my eyes closed. “It seems you have been out there letting everyone use your body. Now you have more experience, is that still what you want?”
“You know it’s wrong.” His voice had dropped deeper. My knees nearly buckled. That was the beginning of the end. The rejection was to follow.
“Please. Please don’t hate me Daddy. I can’t help that I like wrong things. I can’t stop craving wrong things. I tried. Really, I did.” I sobbed.
His arms slid around me and held me tight. “Shhh. Come here.” His hands forced me to turn around. “I don’t hate you baby girl. I’m… stunned.”
I broke down into gut wrenching sobs as I soaked his shirt with my tears, unable to really hear the words he spoke. “Please, please.” I mumbled over and over again.
“Please don’t hate me.”
Before long, he scooped me up and carried me toward the sofa. Sitting down with me in his lap, my father ran his hands over my head and down my back. “Baby, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I would be a hypocrite to think anything less of you. You saw my videos. You know what I do with women. Those are ümraniye escort bayan things I did with your mother before the car crash. She was like you and liked to submit as well.”
My tears slowed and gave way to hiccups. “Really?”
“Really.” He sighed.
“Then why didn’t you pick me up?” I brokenly asked.
“How could I tear myself away from that video? I was in shock. I honestly didn’t know what to think or do. I was angry you let so many other people use you like that, no sense of protection. Your birth control won’t protect you from STD’s. And there was no way I could show up to your school with an erection that wouldn’t go down. I had to watch it again to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”
“It turned you on?”
“Baby, I’ve never thought of bringing you into my lifestyle. Ever. I don’t want you to be hurt by other people. But I am still a man who plays in BDSM and various sexual partners. Of course watching a sexy eighteen year old in a group scene turned me on.”
“You think I’m sexy?” Hope started to bloom in my chest. It was only then that I noticed the evidence of his desire under my backside.
He sighed and gently lifted my chin so that I would look at him for the first time since walking past the front door. His eyes held so much confusion, yet he screamed honesty. He hadn’t settled on any emotion and that was the best I could hope for at the moment. “Abigail, you’re so much like your mother, it’s impossible for me to not think you’re sexy.”
And the disappointment followed. I was just a replacement for my mother.
“God, you really are like her. She would have had the same reaction.” He grinned. “You look like her. You react like her. However, you are not her.” His gray eyes were piercing. “Don’t ever think that I spend time with you because I’m thinking of her. I loved your mother very much. But I grieved and learned to let go. Now, I think about her when I’m a proud father and brag about you. I talk to her all the time, telling her about your grades, your humor, your beautiful singing voice. You are so much the same, but never to be exchanged between each other. I love you as my daughter, for who you are.”
“Then what do you want?”
His eyes hardened. “More than I should.”
“If there were no rules or expectations outside of this house?”
He growled, clenching his teeth together. “I want to make your wildest dreams come true.”
I shivered at the intensity of his words. Quickly I nodded, that I wanted it too.
“Damn it baby. I don’t know.” He paused. One hand combed through his chocolate brown hair with splashes of gray near his temples. Something he swore he gained the day he met me. I thought it made him look experienced and confident. “I know how I am with women. I’m controlling. If you wanted to do this, I would control everything from when and where you sleep, to what you wear, and who you have sex with. I enjoy watching as I control the situation to share what’s mine. Though it won’t stop me from being with other women on occasion as well. I have friends in the lifestyle that I might send you to for training, or play. I enjoy almost every taboo and fetish except things that will leave scars or risk your health, and a few others. But it means I do play with men, women, exhibitionism, humiliation, dominance, lots of toys, anal and oral, bondage and some pain.”
“That’s how Alex was with me.” I whispered.
He raised an elegant brow. “Exactly how was she with you?”
My face warmed again from embarrassment. “Since we were in different houses at school, I had to wake up and call her at 5:30 every morning. Even on the weekends. She would tell me what to do to myself and listen to me until she either let me cum or denied my orgasm. After that, she told me what to wear as I got ready for the day. Sometimes, I would have tasks to complete throughout the day, like not wearing panties and flash our history teacher. There were times when we would sneak out at lunch to meet up with local boys behind the gym or go to a party some nights. But there were always toys. Always orders and control.”
Daddy sat quietly. “What about bondage and pain? What kinks?”
I turned extra red. “Some. Um. I tend to act younger than I am when I’m being controlled, but I like it like that. I don’t really need other people to have sex with, but I like doing naughty things that turn my partner on. And Alex liked to watch… a lot. Most of the bondage happened when she made me cum, laughing as she used my body as she wanted. But mostly, she liked to set up situations. It was interesting how we watched the same videos. However, I always wanted to be the woman you controlled, she wanted to be like you.” His eyes darkened in lust, fingers wandering their way up my thigh and under my skirt as I spoke.
“And you like that? The multiple partners, the toys, the orders and bits of pain? Without Alex in the picture, not just wanting to please her. Is this what you like?” My heart thudded a heavy staccato as his voice rumbled kartal escort with desperate need.
I quickly nodded. “Yes. We played with pain, and I like some small amounts of pain but not real pain. Everything else, I love without boundaries.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not a sadist. I incorporate some pain that distracts or heightens the senses. I don’t like to cause real harm.” He growled before he looked back at me again, still obviously fighting with himself. “Are you sure? Have you really thought this through?”
His eyes watched me with concern. He was hard and his dick twitched periodically, however, he hadn’t let go of the image of me as his daughter. It was all so complicated.
I loved him for his concern and his tender love. However, I wanted the harsh dom I knew he could be. Would he understand enough to truly let go and be himself with me?
“After mom died, I tried to stay strong, I tried to move on. But my friends didn’t understand, they just wanted me to be fake and happy all the time. And when I couldn’t do that, eventually they left me too.”
He pulled me into a tight hug. “Abby, I’m so sorry.”
I was quick to shake my head. “Don’t be. I learned some hard lessons, but I learned them. I learned that I didn’t need fake friends. I learned that I truly, deeply love you and Alex. You are the only two people who saw all of me and loved me without hesitation. Eventually, I learned that there were two sides of me. There was the typical teenage girl who was full of hormones and wanted to be rebellious. And there was the little girl who was tired of having to hold in all of her grief and raging emotions. I needed an outlet. Then I found your closet open. Once I saw the videos, I knew that was the life I wanted. It was so rebellious and taboo. Yet, the natural high I found with it was better than ever even thinking about trying drugs. The drain of my pent up anxiety was better than any therapy session I ever went to. The way I give control to someone I trust, it’s both adult and childlike. I feel like I can be all of myself.”
“What about college and dating boys your own age? This lifestyle, with me, isn’t very compatible with normal college dating.”
“After my friends abandoned me and couldn’t understand what I went through, they all seemed so superficial. I don’t relate with people my age. I only care about you and Alex.”
I looked down, unsure of sharing just how deep my feelings ran. It wasn’t just about lust and games. I loved him with all of me.
“Daddy, I love you more than anyone, even Alex and I love her so much it hurts my heart that she’s leaving to go to college in California.” One lone tear escaped remembering what she had done for me. She saved me from the darkness of my depression when I arrived at the school. She held my hand as I explored who I was without my mother in my life. And she gave the greatest gift of breaking the walls between my father and I. I owed her everything. Yet, for all of the love I felt for her, my father was always the only man I would ever truly love. “I know you didn’t want me to take a semester from school. You wanted me to pick a college and start right away like everyone else. But I just couldn’t stand the idea of leaving you, not even to go to the university two hours away. You’re the only man I have ever loved and the only one I would trust to submit to so completely.”
“You’re still young and healing. You might meet others in college.”
“Like I said, I don’t trust others. And I know that this is who I am. I’m a submissive girl who happily lets someone else take control. So how do I face that without Alex? Do I give up who I crave to be in order to meet new people? Do I trust random people and hope I don’t get hurt? I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do any of that. I feel like either way, I’d only be half of myself if I leave for college. And I’m only half of myself if I stay and we don’t do this.” I looked up to his eyes, begging him to understand. “Please Daddy. You don’t have to love me back. Just don’t push me away, not now. Please. I trust you and I want to be my whole self, with you.”
“You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?”
I nodded. “Yes. Since Christmas. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
He chuckled. My father’s deep timber rattled against my cheek as he hugged me tighter. “And here, I’ve been stressing all day, worried this was some twisted dream or you would run. Hell, I was terrified you would say you want it and submit out of the inner need to be seek approval rather than it being something you truly wanted.” He kissed my forehead as I looked up at him.
“You’re really not pushing me away?” It was too much to hope for. He wanted me? Like I wanted him? He wasn’t angry about my past, but turned on?
He gave a deep and wicked chuckle. “Oh no baby girl. I’ve spent all morning hoping you would come home and say it was all a mistake, anything for you to walk away and not cross this line. Because I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to push you away on my own. If you submit to me, I wouldn’t hold back and I would never let you go. The last thing I want to do is hurt you by grabbing for too much.”
“Please Daddy. Please don’t let me go.” I didn’t care how desperate I sounded. I wanted him with everything I had.
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