Nate , I

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The bell to end the last hour of the day sounded. It’s always a relief but especially on Fridays. School sucks. I gathered my books and walked into the hallways. The loud talking and slamming locker doors filled my ears, so I never would’ve seen it coming.

Two of the homophobic jocks ran to catch up with me. Being the only openly gay student at my school was Hell. I got picked on like no other. They called my derogatory names all the time. This time though, they knocked my binder from my arms and laughed like they were doing something original. They kept going along and I sighed. Nothing really new.

The few people that were left lingering merely looked down at me while I collected the papers that had scattered everywhere. It was humiliating to have to be on the dirty floor picking up my stuff. It took a while and people stepping on them and dragging them across the hall didn’t help.

Once I had finally managed to get situated once again and back on my feet, I saw the buses through the glass doors starting to leave. It jumped into my mind that my parents weren’t home for the weekend so that was my only way home.

“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath as I took off into a run. My bag clumsily bounced against me as I ran. I got to the end of the hall and burst through the doors. I tried to catch the bus, but it was already pulling away from the stop sign. I saw the two guys who had made my mess in the back window snickering. I hated them so much.

I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. My house was way to far to walk home, but it was starting to look like I had no other choice. I looked around, but I was alone. I sighed and sat down on an old bench to think. I zoned out for a few minutes sitting there.

‘At least it’s not raining,’I thought to myself. If my life was a movie, that’s when it would start pouring down, but my life is not a movie and something different happened.

I heard the door fall shut. I turned around to see who it was. I was desperate enough to ask someone for a ride. It was Nate. One of the popular guys of my senior class. One of the jocks’ friends. My stomach turned over inside of me and I hesitated. I had pretty good reason to believe he’d laugh in my face if I even said hi to him, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers, right?

I studied him for a moment though. Something was off. He walked with his head down. That wasn’t like him. Upon closer inspection, his eyes had bags saying that he hadn’t been sleeping lately. As he drew closer, I had to bring every single ounce of courage I could muster to say something.

“Hey,” I managed with a dry mouth and standing up. I seemed to have snapped him out of some deep thought. He looked up at me but didn’t say a thing. I cleared my throat.

“I don’t know if you know me or anything. I’m Oliver, and I know this might seem a little weird. But uh, I don’t really have a way home… Could I maybe get a ride? I’ll pay you gas money,” I told him trying my hardest to not sound stupid. He didn’t answer immediately, and I wanted to throw up. I had had a crush on this guy since I first moved into the school freshman year. And as he’s aged to 18, he’s gotten even hotter. As I’ve aged to 18, I’ve changed a lot. I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better looking, but nowhere near his level.

“Um, yeah sure,” he said hesitantly. I swallowed hard and picked up my bag. I followed him across the parking lot in silence. We approached a new model black mustang. I paused to make sure it was his car. He unlocked the doors and we both climbed in.

“I like your car,” I told him trying to make some conversation. It seemed to catch him off guard again.

“Thanks, I got it for my sixteenth birthday,” he replied. “So where is it that you live?”

I explained it to him.

“Oh, you live right down the street from me,” he said as he started the engine.

“Really? I’ve never seen you around,” I said.

“I’m not home all that often honestly, and I visit my mom in the summer,” he told me backing up. I couldn’t help but admire his jawline as he strained to look behind him. I kept my hands in my lap in an awkward way. I hated myself for being so damn introverted, but I couldn’t help it really.

“Oh,” was all I could come up with to say. As we left school grounds, the car became heavier with a silence. I had no clue what to say, so I just played with my ring that I always wear. It helped me calm my nerves when I had nothing else.

“Thanks by the way. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten home if you hadn’t still been here,” I said.

“No problem, I like waiting it out to avoid the rush,” he explained. He still seemed to be deep in thought. His eyebrows furrowed.

“And ya know… I was kinda scared to ask you,” I mentioned with a somewhat forced laugh. I don’t really know why I said that, but I did.

“Really? Why?” He asked. This caught his attention and brought him out of his mind. He looked over at me for a second.

“Well… I was afraid you’d laugh at me or something… like all your friends do,” I said kadıköy escort looking intensely at the road in front of us as if it were so interesting.

“Jake and Brent? Those guys are assholes… Honestly, I don’t even like them. The only reason I hang around them is because of football,” he admitted to me. As much as I could believe he was just like them, I wanted to believe he was different. Kinder.

“Yeah they are,” I said exhaling. “I’ve had to deal with their shit since I moved here.”

“Man, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to get that kind of treatment every single day. I don’t know how you do it,” he trailed off. He stared at the road for more than the reason of driving. I could just tell. I looked over at him. I took in his appearance before I said anything further. Everything about him screamed sex. He was tan. He had dark hair that fell perfectly without effort. He had bulging biceps and probably washboard abs. From what I saw, he didn’t have any body hair. His eyes were a pretty brown. They twinkled.

“Yeah, it sucks but I guess I can’t really take the ignorance out of them,” I said and the car started to slow down. We were on a deserted road that was about halfway between our school and our neighborhood. I was confused. Then, the worst thing went through my mind, as it always does.

“Don’t tell me you’re kicking me out,” I said before I really knew what was happening. Just by association, it still scared me he was going to screw me over. Like it’s some cruel joke on the queer kid. He turned to me.

“What? No. No, I wouldn’t do that,” he said. He swallowed, and it was evident something was on his mind, burdening him. I turned to him.

“Is… something wrong?” I asked genuinely concerned for him. He looked down, avoiding eye contact.

“Can I tell you something?” He said, his voice cracking.

“Yeah, sure,” I told him. It was then that I saw a tear fall from his eye to the console. I started to realize just how serious things were getting.

“You have to swear you won’t tell anyone,” he emphasized, still not looking at me.

“I won’t. Promise,” I reassured. Then, he looked at me. His eyes were glossy from tears. They were even prettier than before. Even when he was emotionally torn in half and breaking down, he was so attractive. He calmed himself down a bit and sighed.

“Oliver… I’m- I’m gay…,” he managed to get out. We maintained eye contact for a moment after that. I was shocked to say the least. He was the last person I ever would’ve guessed to be gay.

“I- I never would’ve thought… Really?” I said without much thought to it. I knew he was serious. Who gets this emotional to try and trick someone? Nobody.

“You’re the only person I’ve told. I can’t tell anyone else. The whole team would beat me up. I wouldn’t have any friends left. Hell, my dad would probably kick me out of the house,” he went on to say. Tears started to fall a little more. It was all so much to take in at once. The most words we had ever exchanged was when he said sorry for almost hitting me with a door.

“It’s okay, Nate. It’s all okay… I know what you’re feeling right now. I went through the same thing when I first figured it all out… And I want you to know that, I’m gonna be here for you. It’s a hard to thing to go through alone, but you won’t have to. Promise,” I said trying to comfort him. As his tears glided down his cheeks, I reached out and gently placed my hand on his arm to comfort him.

“Th-thank you,” he said calming down. He wiped his eyes and looked at me. We sat there a moment so I could let him gather his thoughts. He looked at his steering wheel.

“What’s it like?” He asked me in a quiet voice.

“What do you mean?” I asked half because I wanted to hear him say it and half because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what he was asking. He brought his eyes back to me.

“To… to be with a guy. To hold one. To kiss one… To have sex with one,” he breathed out in a pained and quiet voice. I let my hand slide down to armrest but still maintains contact.

“It’s… amazing honestly,” I reply. I paused.

“And it’s scary at first because it’s all so new and foreign from what everyone else does, but it feels good to be honest with yourself,” I somewhat rushed in. I looked down a little and tried thinking of how else to explain it.

Before I could say something else, Nate’s lips were against mine. I was totally caught off guard, but as soon as I realized what was happening, I closed my eyes and kissed him back. He held it long enough for me to rest my hand on his shoulder. He pulled away and looked out his window in embarrassment. I was still processing that my all time crush who I had previously assumed straight, had just kissed me.

“Sorry… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…,” he trailed off. He wouldn’t look at me. His pain filled the car. I pulled his shoulder so that he’d look back at me. I got him to and his eyes were filled with worry.

“It’s completely fine… kağıthane escort It was nice,” I said with a small smile. He looked at me wanting to believe me and eventually did.

“Oliver… Can I ask you something else?” He asked me slowly.

“Of course,” I replied with a smile.

“Do you… like me?” He asked. This made my heart skip a beat. I looked out in front of us. I swallowed.

“I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you,” I said a small voice. I was embarrassed to admit that I’d liked him for so long.

“Well… ever since I first really found out that I was… gay. I’ve kinda liked you too,” he admitted, still not used to proclaiming himself as homosexual. I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. He saw and smiled too.

“Wow,” is all I could say. I said it in amazement, not sarcasm. It was a truly blissful moment in my life. To hear that coming from Nate. We sat and soaked in all the information we had just received from each other. My hands were back in my lap playing with my ring.

“Oliver,” he said to me.

“Yeah?” I replied looking to him.

“Could you show me what it’s like?” Nate asked me shyly. It was so different to be the person that someone’s shy to talk to.

I didn’t say anything to him. Instead, I let my hand rise and glide towards his slowly. I made contact and his hands were clammy from nerves I guess, but it didn’t matter. I rested my hand on his and then laced our fingers together. He reflexively did the same, and we were hiding hands. We both savored the moment. He let out a sigh of relief and I relaxed.

“My parents are out of town for the weekend. That’s why I didn’t have a ride home today,” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. “We could go there if you wanted.”

“Yeah. Okay,” he said softly. He sat up and reluctantly let go of my hand to shift the car into drive. I didn’t like that he did, but he reprieved me when he grabbed it again as he began driving. I smiled and leaned a little more towards him.

We didn’t really have a conversation the rest of the ride to my house, but it was awkward like it was before. It was one of those silences that was okay. When I needed to, I pointed to my house, and we pulled into my driveway. He let go of my hand, parked, and killed the engine. I grabbed my stuff and got out of the car.

I guided him into my house and we walked to my room. I opened the door still in disbelief that Nate was with me. I put my bag and book down and turned to him.

“Well, this is where I live,” I said with a smile. He looked genuinely interested in it. He examined the things on my bookshelf, which had just about everything but books.

“This is cool,” he said looking at a a small statue.

“Thanks, I got it on my trip to Spain last summer,” I mentioned casually. He nodded and I held my breath and reached out. I lightly put my hand on his side. He flinched a bit but didn’t fight it. He breathed a little quicker.

“That’s… that’s nice,” he told me. We smiled to each other and I let it rest a bit more. He moved his arm and placed it awkwardly around mine and put it on my shoulder blade. It was obvious that he hadn’t done this before and was nervous. It was cute.

I moved closer to him and our faces drew nearer. We maintained eye contact until he closed his eyes and made the move for a kiss. I closed mine as well and our lips interlocked, softer this time.

We stayed like that for a minute. My hand slid around to his back and my other hand did the same. His other other hand mirrored his hand already on me. Our bodies were only inches away. When we parted, his whispered to me.

“I’ve never done this before… I’m kinda nervous,” he reminded me.

“I know. I won’t go too fast,” I reminded him with a comforting smile. He smiled.

“Thanks,” he said before kissing me again.

‘God, if only he knew how many times I had thought about this,’ I thought to myself as I melted into our kiss.

He inhaled without breaking away and pulled me closer. I fell into him and our bodies collided. He was strong though. I didn’t throw him off his balance. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling and he did the same.

“What?” He giggled to me.

“Nothing, it’s just… just wow. You’re too perfect,” I said and smiled hard. He laughed airily and we moved towards my bed, which was just a mattress on the floor.

Nate leaned forward and lowered me to sit down. Once I was down, he dropped to his knees so we were still even. He did all of this without ever breaking contact. This obviously wasn’t the first time he’d gone through these motions. I was just his first guy.

I leaned back and supported myself with one hand and placed my other one on the side of his face. He brought up his knee and rested one hand on my collar bone. Just this contact with him had me hard as a rock downstairs.

He pulled off for a breather and I gazed into those eyes again.

“You have really pretty eyes,” I finally told him. He smiled at me. I kartal escort took this moment of a break and took my ring off of my finger with the same hand. I had learned to remove it with my middle finger and thumb. I put it on my dresser.

I then placed my hand on Nate’s chest. I could feel his pecs and his breathing. He was radiating heat even through his shirt. My hand slid across his chest and onto his abs. God, he had hard abs- just like I expected. My hand continued to explore and went around to the small of his back.

Nate took this as a green light to do the same. He let his hand explore my body as well. It slid from collar bone down to my chest and stomach. I was nowhere near as built as he was, but I was thin. He rubbed my chest and dropped his head as he did. We were getting lost in what we were doing. The awkwardness was fading fast.

I reached up and placed both of my hands on either side of his face and kissed him again. I laid back and we slowly went down. My legs slid out in front of me and his legs held him up on both sides of mine. We got lower until he was resting on one elbow and I was on my back. We kissed harder than before.

It didn’t take long from there until we were French kissing. We were both breathing heavier and kissing harder. I was the one to let my hand slide under his shirt. I felt his bare back and held him tighter. He was so warm. I let my hand run over his back as we kissed. I could tell I was starting to drive him crazy. It’s something I was definitely proud of.

He then reached down and grabbed my shirt. He ran his hands up from my stomach to my chest, dragging my shirt up. I pulled his shirt up as well. I wanted to look at him and see it all, but there was no way I’d stop that kiss.

We only broke long enough to take off our shirts together. In that time I got my first look at him shirtless. I had seen his stomach before when he took his hoodie off and I saw his bellybutton, but seeing his entire upper body was thrilling. I grabbed his sides and pulled him down to me. Our chests came together. We rubbed and he subtlety widened his legs, dropping him closer to me.

Nate then stuck his legs out and was laying on me. There was no doubt he probably felt my hard on, but I didn’t care. I kissed me hard as he grabbed my sides and rolled us over. It was such a turn on to be pulled over into him.

His hands wondered from my upper back to my lower back quickly. Then, he started to play with my underwear waistband that stuck out over my jeans. He ran his fingers along it and then just barely under it.

He shifted slightly and that’s when I felt it. From what I could feel through our pants, he had a pretty impressive member. I slide to the side and our bulge slid over each other. I drew in a quick breath because of it.

His hands then went down and grabbed my ass. I gasped again. He pulled me forward and held me there. I went over his head and I felt him kissing my neck. I didn’t know it was possible to involuntarily moan, but it was! I let out a moan as he kissed my neck and squeezed my ass. This guy really knew what he was doing.

“God,” I let out. He kissed down my neck and to my chest. He started sucking, and it felt so good. I groaned some more.

His hands, almost clumsily, went from my ass to the front of my jeans. He hastily unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them. He pushed my jeans but didn’t get very far.

I straightened up and looked down at him. I flung my leg off of him and laid down next to him. As I did, he undid his own jeans. We both quickly stripped ourselves of our pants. He was wearing some tight-fitting colorful briefs, and I was wearing dark boxer briefs. His bulge was straining so much against the fabric, it was pulling away from his body.

We faced each on our sides and simultaneously kissed each other’s necks. I pulled my leg up and put it on top of his and my other one went between his muscular thighs. We scooted closer until our bulges were pressed against each other.

My hand, in a weird position, started at his chest and ran down his body. It was the moment. The moment that I had imagined for four years. My fingers entered his underwear and lifted them out. I chose to not touch him until my whole hand was over it. I could feel the heat hit my hand.

I dropped and held his dick. It was thick. That was my first thought. And then that it was long. From my judgement, he was probably packing about eight inches down there. I wrapped my hand around it and tugged slightly. He gasped at how it felt.

As I felt him up, he went back to grabbing my ass. At first over my underwear, but then he went under and pulled me into him again. I let out another groan.

I couldn’t take it any longer. I moved out of his reach and put him on his back. My legs both went between his. Nate’s legs were spread out in front of me. I grabbed his waistband and smiled up at him. He looked down at me and even with that unflattering angle, he turned me on so bad.

I pulled his briefs all the way off. His dick was only described as perfect. It was as big as it felt and his pubes were trimmed, not shaved. He was cut and had a pink head. Something I thought was cute was that he had a small little freckle on the side of his shaft about two inches from his head. I could feel the lust. I saw how his balls rested between his legs low enough to touch my bed.

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