Just a Prank

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The first guy showed up at 7:30am. I was still in bed so it took me a few minutes to get up, get dressed and get to the door. I pulled on a pair of cargo shorts and went to stop the ringing of the doorbell, wondering who in the hell would be ringing it in the first place. I told myself that if it was my cousin, Kathy, I wouldn’t knock her off the front stoop. She had a habit of showing up at odd times but never this early.

The dude on the other side of the door was just that, an average dude. Probably wouldn’t have looked at him twice if I’d seen him on the street. He was shuffling around nervously when I opened the door. “Hello?” I asked. He looked up to meet my eyes briefly then focused on my bare chest. He didn’t say anything but reached down and palmed his basket.

“Uh, can I help you?” I tried again. I could feel my forehead wrinkled in confusion. I didn’t recognize him as anyone I knew and his odd behavior was pushing my buttons. He looked up at me again with a glazed expression. My eyebrows drew closer together.

“You’re even hotter than your pics,” he finally spoke as he stepped forward to enter my house.

“Whoa,” I said and held up a hand to block him. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I-I’m J-John,” he stuttered out, seeming far less certain. “I came t-to fuck… Like you said?”

“I think you got the wrong address,” I told him. The whole situation was so surreal and the fact I’d just woken up from a dead sleep made it feel like a bad dream.

“Oh, um, o-okay.” He backed off the small front porch and scurried away to a car parked at the curb where he got in the driver’s side and took off.

“Weird,” I muttered and shut the door, shaking my head. I figured it for one of those things that happens when you live in the city and not the ‘burbs. Fucking wide awake now, I thought and headed for the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I’d been out late the night before and could use the caffeine. Once the stuff was brewing I went to take a quick shower but a few knocks on the door stopped me.

The second guy was old enough to be my grandfather. He had on thick glasses and age-spots covered his face and hands. What little hair he had was white and frizzy. He gave me a pervy smile when I opened the door and obviously checked me out. Christ I should’ve put on a shirt, I thought.

“Sir?” I said, torn between being polite to an old guy and pissed he was at my door after the first odd encounter.

“Are you going to invite me in, young man?” He had an oddly high-pitched voice with a whiny, feminine cadence to them.

“Do we know each other?” My Saturday morning was getting weirder and weirder.

“Not yet but I’m hoping we will be getting quite intimate, sonny.” He posed no physical threat to me but his words caused a chill to run up my spine anyway. I looked over his head to see if there was someone out there laughing at me. It was late May so the sun had been up awhile but no one was out there.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered with a smile. It had to be a joke. Right?

“You seem nervous. I assumed you had experience with this, you mentioned diapers?”

Before my brain could come up with what that might even mean a pick-up roared up to the curb before my condo. The old guy and I both looked at it. Two guys dressed like Hell’s Angels jumped out and slammed the doors behind them.

“Is this where the party’s at?” one of them yelled out. What the fuck, I wondered. They came up to the door and elbowed grandpa out of the way. “Fuck, you’re a hot little pig,” the driver told me. His friend reached out and tweaked my right nipple. It made me jump, and not in a good way.

I still gripped the edge of the door in my left hand. Completely on autopilot I slammed it in their faces. “Hey, don’t get shy on us now, pussy boy.” One of them rapped on the door.

“Go away,” I yelled as I threw the deadbolt into place.

“Don’t be a cocktease, boy.” Whichever one said it sounded pissed.

“I’m calling the police,” I yelled back. They knocked harder on the door and I hoped they’d heard the lock clicking into place. After a minute I heard the truck start and screech away from the curb. I rushed to the bedroom and pulled on a t-shirt. Going into the living room I peeked through the front window and saw no sign of the old guy or the two bikers.

With a sigh of relief I returned to the kitchen and made myself a mug of coffee and picked up my cell. I had no idea who to call or what to do and decided I needed more information. I didn’t have to wait long before the doorbell rang again.

This time it was a normal looking guy, about my age or closer to thirty maybe. After looking at him through the peephole I opened the door. He looked me over with an appreciative smile. If I’d met him at a bar or club I wouldn’t have minded. “What are you doing here?” I questioned him.

“I saw your ad?” he answered with a questioning glance. “Man, those pics don’t do you justice,” he mumbled.

“What casino oyna ad did you see?” I was starting to get a sinking feeling in my gut.

“On craigslist. About the bareback orgy?” He backed up and looked at the number by my door and back at me. “This is Summer Street?” I nodded that it was. “It was definitely you in the pics.”

“You must’ve made a mistake. I didn’t post any ad on craigslist.” I desperately wanted to get rid of the guy and get to my computer.

“Oh, well… Are you sure? I mean, is it me?” His crestfallen look made me wince.

“It’s not you, I promise. I didn’t post any ads, it must have been an error or something.” I’d never posted anything on craigslist though I’d surfed the personals a few times.

“Okay, well… maybe you’ll take my number? If you wanna hook up sometime?”

“Listen, I’m kinda’ busy right now. I have to go.” I closed the door gently this time and hoped he’d go away. I went for my laptop and powered it up as I took it and my coffee into the kitchen. I pulled up the internet and punched in the address for craigslist.

It wasn’t hard to find the ad. There were more posted on an early Saturday than I would’ve expected but I spotted it pretty easy. It said ‘All day orgy’ and I clicked on it. Beneath the text giving my address and promising that I was hosting a raw orgy for any guys that wanted to stop by were three pictures. The first was a shot of me at the beach. I was wearing sunglasses and a swimsuit. The water was a clear blue behind me and the breeze was whipping my dark brown hair up off my forehead. The skin on my chest and abs was a nice mellow brown from the sun.

The next one was obviously taken with a cellphone. It showed my hard cock framed between the V of my thighs, my pubes shaved down to almost nothing around the base. My left hand was in the frame, my thumb pressing my dick up off my stomach. My lower belly showed the treasure trail from my navel at the very bottom of the picture. The tattoo of a dragon that wrapped around my hip, spewing flames towards my crotch, was just visible in the folded crease where my thighs joined my hips. The orange and red flames leapt out at me in their vibrancy.

The third picture had a shot of my ass. I was walking away from the camera, looking back over my shoulder with a cocky grin. It showed the long line of my back and centered on the white globes of my ass. My partially turned-away stance showed how round they were. The tail end of the dragon trailed over one of them. I started panting, felt the nausea roiling in my stomach.

I clicked back and another post caught my eye, ‘Pussy Boy Gang Bang’. I clicked on it, a few lines down from the one I’d just seen. ‘Pussy Boy looking to get fucked. I got a hungry Cunt. No preferences — I will take all cummers.’ There was a smiley face emoticon after the message followed by my address. The same three pics were beneath it. I clicked back and checked for any more. There were two. One looking for a diaper party, I had no idea what it even meant. The last one was even scarier; it said I was looking for guys to come and rape me – consensual role play. Oh Sweet Jesus, my heart started pounding.

I completely ignored the next round of doorbell ringing and knocking. When the doorknob jiggled I nearly jumped out of my skin. I set my laptop aside and pressed my palms against my eyes, tried to figure out what I should do. I found a piece of paper and wrote on it in black marker, ‘Party Cancelled – Emergency — Sorry’. The word Emergency ended up kind of squished at the end of the second line but I didn’t care, it was only a temporary fix. When everything appeared quite I checked out the peephole. Seeing the coast was clear I opened the door and taped the sign to it before shutting and locking it securely.

I returned to the kitchen and tried to think clearly. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Only one person had those pictures besides me. My ex, Mike, had to be the one who’d posted the ads. I picked up my cell and tried to remember his number. Slowly it came back to me and I dialed. It went straight to voice mail. In the few minutes it had taken me to figure it out I’d grown more angry than I could ever remember being. “Mike, you motherfucker! I want this shit over! Now!” After yelling into the phone I disconnected and tossed it onto the counter. I didn’t know any other numbers for him so I paced around the kitchen, running my hands through my hair. I tried to think of who I might call that knew his new home number or where he might be.

I used to think Mike was a good guy. We’d been together for two years, lived together for one. It wasn’t until I caught him cheating that I found out how much of a douchebag he really was. It started with a fragment of IM chat between him and some guy named hawtboi87 that I found on the computer. Then I checked his email and facebook, the passwords were all saved on the computer so it wasn’t even difficult. When he wasn’t paying attention I checked his phone and found texts and canlı casino pictures, a profile on grindr. He’d been hooking up with other guys almost since we first started dating.

Within two days I was packed and moved out. I stayed with my brother until I could find a place and ended up buying the condo I now lived in. I couldn’t believe after all the fights and begging, all the promises that he’d change, that this was even happening. Suddenly I felt like I was living a Lifetime movie of the week. Just what the hell am I supposed to do, I wondered.

I did the only thing that always helped, I called my brother. Donny was two years older than me and as far as big brothers went I’d lucked out. He was the best. I grabbed up the phone and found him in my contacts.

“Hey, little bother. What’s happenin?” He picked up on the first ring and I could hear my niece and nephews yelling in the background.

“Man, I need your help. I don’t know what to do.” I jumped right in and explained what was happening. To be honest I was a little afraid that I was making more out of it than I was but as I was talking another car pulled up out front. I told Donny to hold on and listened to the steps of someone on the other side of the front door. Luckily they didn’t knock and a minute later they left. I told Donny the rest of the story. “What should I do, Donny?”

“Damn, Billy. You have to call the police, bro. That’s some serious shit.” The background noise had decreased and I could just picture him walking out into the formal family room where his kids never went.

“I don’t know.” I hesitated. “What if it’s someone I know that shows up? I work with a lot of police officers. I don’t want my business getting out, you know? I don’t want to be known as the gay EMT for the rest of my life.” More than that I felt humiliated that this could even happen to me, like it was all my fault.

“I get it, Billy, but what he did is illegal. I never liked that bastard. Listen, we could go and hunt this fucker down and beat him but then we’ll just get in trouble. I have a better idea. Let me check something out and I’ll call you in five. Maybe you should come over here?”

“I’ll wait ’til I hear back from you. Hey, Donny? Thanks for this.”

“Five minutes, Billy. Don’t open your door, okay?”

“Got it,” I told him and hung up.

It was actually only three minutes but it felt like an eternity. Especially because another car pulled up and at least two guys came to the door. They banged on it a few times before leaving. When Donny called back he had a phone number and a name.

“Detective Marquez. He’ll help you out and keep things quiet. Call him as soon as you hang up, Billy.”

“Will do. Thanks again.” Donny worked for the District Attorney and worked with a lot of cops. I just hoped he knew what he was talking about. I called the number he’d given me.

“Marquez,” I deep voice said. It sounded scratchy, like I’d maybe woke him up.

“Um, hey, I… My name’s William Reynolds. My brother, Donny, gave me your number. Sorry if I woke you. I just… need some help.”

“Yeah, I know Don. What’s up?” I told him the whole sorry mess as quickly and succinctly as I could. For as much as it seemed like huge drama it only took me about two minutes to get the facts out.

“So these guys keep coming and I’m not sure what to do about it,” I finished lamely.

“What’s your address?” he asked. I gave it to him and he said, “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Don’t answer the door for anyone but me, got it?”

It was more like fifteen minutes and three more ignored visitors before he arrived. He banged on the door and shouted out, “It’s me. Marquez.” I unlatched the deadbolt and opened the door for him. I guess I was expecting and old, grizzled detective like Colombo or something. This Marquez was well into his thirties. Around my height, just over six feet, he filled up the foyer with his presence. His wrinkled dress shirt and jeans couldn’t hide a powerful body.

He hadn’t shaved in days and his hair was a sloppy mess of jet black curls on his head. He stuck a big paw out for me to shake. He had a firm grip. I led him into the kitchen and offered him coffee which he gladly accepted. I took a seat across from him with my own coffee and went over the story for him a second time, including my reluctance to call the police. I even got out my laptop and showed him the ads I’d found.

The entire time I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. When we both leaned in close to the screen I could smell the minty scent of his toothpaste over the coffee. He had the most perfect straight white teeth. “And you’re sure that these images are all of you?” he asked, drawing me out of my daydream. He tapped the one of my cock with his forefinger.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I confirmed, blushing. “I know I’m kinda’ being a pussy about all this but I wasn’t sure what to do and Donny said I should call you. I don’t want to waste your time, Detective. I’m sorry you had to come kaçak casino over here and…,” and coddle me, I wanted to finish. He put his hand on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“None of this is your fault, Mr. Reynolds. You need to remember that.”

“Thanks, and call me Bill. I just feel so stupid-,”

“No,” he cut me off. “You’re the victim here. He had no right to do this to you. At the very least he’s committed Aggravated Harassment against you. I work in the Family Violence Unit and this is definitely a domestic offense. Don’t let yourself feel guilty because none of it is your fault.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. I turned my hand in his and held it for a second. I was on the verge of tears suddenly and yet my cock was getting hard. “What do we do now?” I asked without meeting his eyes.

“I want you to go to your brother’s house for the day. You may have to spend the night so pack a bag. I’ll have a cruiser patrol through here to keep an eye on things. I’m going to my office and I’ll handle the rest. Hopefully we’ll get the ads down ASAP and you can get back to your life.”

“I appreciate it, Detective. I’ll go pack right now.” I pushed away from the kitchen table and took my hand away from his.

“You do that. And call me Joe,” he said from behind me. I couldn’t fight the grin that wanted to creep onto my face.

I had a bag packed and we left the condo ten minutes later. I shook his hand again at the curb and got in my car. I drove off towards Donny’s and called him on the way, telling him what was happening. He was happy to have me. My oh-so-helpful brother couldn’t wait to see me, informing me that he’d be happy to have a babysitter over for the night.

In the afternoon I got a call from Detective Marquez, or Joe. He told me the ads had been removed but he didn’t want me to return home right away, at least not until he could get an officer to escort me. I promised I’d wait to hear from him.

I spent the evening with the kids while Donny and his wife went out. We played board games and ate pizza before movies and bed. I let them stay up two extra hours and earned the title Best Uncle Ever. It was fun but I kept wondering what was happening with my ex, Mike, and what Joe was doing. But the kids had worn me out and I was in the guest bedroom not long after them, well before my brother and sister-in-law got home.

Joe called in the morning and said it was okay to go home, that he had someone waiting there for me. I was more than ready to get back. It wasn’t often I got weekend days off and I was already regretting the day I’d missed. Not that I didn’t have fun with my brother’s family but I’d wanted to cut loose a little on my own. I told Joe I’d be there in twenty minutes. I thanked Donny and my sister-in-law, both of them looked hungover, said goodbye to the kids and took off.

I was surprised to find Joe waiting in his car for me. He got out as I pulled in. He must have just recently showered because he looked freshly shaved and his dark hair was tamed down into a side-part that would’ve made a lesser man look geeky. Today he was wearing a simple white t-shirt and faded jeans. His bronze skin gleamed in the sunlight as he waited for me by the front walkway with a half-smile on his face. Definitely no hiding that he had an impressive body.

“Hey, Bill,” he greeted me as I climbed from the car. “I took a walk around the outside and everything looks okay but I’ll go in first just to make sure. You wait out here,” he said and walked up to me with his hand out. I put my keys in his palm with the house key out. He jogged up to the front door and let himself in. He was back in a matter of minutes, waving me in.

God, it was a relief to be back home and know the whole ordeal was over for the time being. I pulled my hasty sign off the door as I came in. Everything seemed normal so I dumped my bag in the living room and went straight to the kitchen. I’d showered at Donny’s but it was still pretty early so I made a pot of coffee while Joe watched.

“So, what happened yesterday?” I was dying of curiosity by this time. And I really didn’t want Joe to leave yet.

“Well, I tracked down Mike. He was still at the apartment you’d rented together. He tried to deny everything but I’d already done some checking. I had a warrant for craigslist and got the IP address of the computer that had posted the ads. It matched Mike’s internet connection. I also had a warrant to confiscate his computer and cellphone so I did. That really got him worked up.”

“Oh man, I bet it did. He was probably shitting his pants.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Joe replied with a grin. “Anyway, long story short, he knew he was screwed. He admitted to everything, kept saying it was just a prank. I got him to take down the ads. It wasn’t just craigslist, by the way, he put stuff up on five other sites as well. I took the computer and cellphone. I’ll try to get any images of you I can find but if he has them saved on a remote server or a flashdrive somewhere I won’t be able to do anything about it.”

“Wow, it’s all good. That’s still pretty amazing. Honestly, I can’t thank you enough…” I brought him a mug of coffee but he held up a hand to stop me.

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